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- It takes heart - by Neverablueflame - It takes heart - :iconneverablueflame:Neverablueflame 3 0 Yuhpunzel by Neverablueflame Yuhpunzel :iconneverablueflame:Neverablueflame 0 0 .:Sei ni Shigamitsuku:. by Neverablueflame .:Sei ni Shigamitsuku:. :iconneverablueflame:Neverablueflame 0 0 .:No Pain No Game:. by Neverablueflame .:No Pain No Game:. :iconneverablueflame:Neverablueflame 1 0 .:Learning to Accept:. by Neverablueflame .:Learning to Accept:. :iconneverablueflame:Neverablueflame 0 0 .:Secret Lab:. by Neverablueflame .:Secret Lab:. :iconneverablueflame:Neverablueflame 2 0 .:Ai Nassen:. by Neverablueflame .:Ai Nassen:. :iconneverablueflame:Neverablueflame 1 0
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.:Wedding:.
If you love someone enough, you have to learn to let them go right? Of course, if you don't, it makes it hard to ever fully move on.
You really did look stunning in your dress you know. Your dress made of white lace, your veil pulled down over your face. There was a small smile. That smile carried both happiness and fear. If I don't stop staring at you soon, I'm sure you'll think I'm losing it. I'm not losing it I swear. I just think you're even more beautiful than the day I first met you. I wish you nothing but happiness, but I wish I could be the one marrying you. Then again, long time ago, I knew better. I knew I'd never marry you. That'd you'd never truly be mine. But I still hoped right? I still dreamed. I prayed I'd have that chance. I wish you'd stop staring at me in the mirror too. The longer you look at me with that smile, the harder it is for me to force myself to tell you goodbye.
Soon you'll give me one last hug. You'll walk thru those doors and that's it. That'll be the la
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:iconneverablueflame:Neverablueflame 0 0
.:The True Self:. by Neverablueflame .:The True Self:. :iconneverablueflame:Neverablueflame 6 5 Touhou Project: Darkness by Neverablueflame Touhou Project: Darkness :iconneverablueflame:Neverablueflame 3 0 .:Do You See Me ?:. by Neverablueflame .:Do You See Me ?:. :iconneverablueflame:Neverablueflame 0 0 .:Looking For You:. by Neverablueflame .:Looking For You:. :iconneverablueflame:Neverablueflame 0 0 .:Back to the Light:. by Neverablueflame .:Back to the Light:. :iconneverablueflame:Neverablueflame 0 0 .:Come With Me:. by Neverablueflame .:Come With Me:. :iconneverablueflame:Neverablueflame 0 0 .:A Home Among the Flowers:. by Neverablueflame .:A Home Among the Flowers:. :iconneverablueflame:Neverablueflame 0 0 .:A Throne of Flowers and Thorns:. by Neverablueflame .:A Throne of Flowers and Thorns:. :iconneverablueflame:Neverablueflame 0 0

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I Forget What I'm Not :iconprince-petrichor:Prince-Petrichor 14 2
The Prince and the Pauper by teaforwolf The Prince and the Pauper :iconteaforwolf:teaforwolf 59 9 ~Defeated~ by blackenedkrono ~Defeated~ :iconblackenedkrono:blackenedkrono 303 44 Noct's wedding day by Bev-Nap Noct's wedding day :iconbev-nap:Bev-Nap 373 23 Kiss the Frog! (Promptis) by Bev-Nap Kiss the Frog! (Promptis) :iconbev-nap:Bev-Nap 231 25 Guess_I'm_doing_Okay by blackenedkrono Guess_I'm_doing_Okay :iconblackenedkrono:blackenedkrono 315 31 Prompto by blackenedkrono Prompto :iconblackenedkrono:blackenedkrono 204 25 Stand By Me by Reikiwie Stand By Me :iconreikiwie:Reikiwie 178 19 PROMPTIS by mogumogumogu PROMPTIS :iconmogumogumogu:mogumogumogu 125 11 Corpse bride by Toxo Corpse bride :icontoxo:Toxo 25 4

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I haven't posted a journal since my first Sakura-con. Oops. I got distracted by life honestly.

Where do I start ? Hmm, well I'm going to Japan probably next summer. My best friend and his boyfriend and I. It's like a celebration of friendship, as well as birthday gifts for me. I'm really excited, it gives me something to look forward to in the future. Sensei also sent me a scholarship application to fill out. I've been having a tough time the last month or so. Everything from crippling anxiety that makes it hard to get out of bed, to agonizing stomach aches that make me want to die. It's been a roller coaster of bullshit really. So yesterday I went to rant to Sensei cause I just needed someone who would listen and stop telling me to just 'work hard and you'll feel better'. I was talking to her about my parents, and how they tell me I have to be perfect, I can't make mistakes, because that makes me a failure. She was honestly shocked I was that scared of failing. She said it put things into perspective as to why I would work so hard in Japanese, even though I'm naturally good at learning languages. She said it explained why I would look like I was crying when I had to speak to the class, why I would shake when I would write on the board. It's cause I was scared. I didn't want to be laughed at for making mistakes, for not knowing the answer, for using the wrong particle. She said I need to learn to not be so hard on myself, to unlearn bad habits like being so harsh with myself. That I don't need to be worried if I make a mistake, no one will laugh at me for not knowing the answer. We've all been in class together for a year, going into second year, it's okay. She said we're like sticky rice, we stick together and help each other. We teach each other and help each other so that no one gets left behind. I told her my parents are disappointed, because I'm not going to be a doctor. Sensei said there's more than one doctor. Doctors don't only do surgeries. Sensei said I need to have faith in myself, I'm good at Japanese. I just need to trust my abilities. I told her I want to be a teacher in South Korea. Most of my teachers hated me, I thought it would be nice if kids who live in a world where school is practically competition, then maybe, just maybe, I could help kids who were like me. Who dreamed of something different than what their parents wanted for them. Help them see their potential, and not let it go to waste. To help just one person who feels like no one cares about how they feel. To show them, it's okay to be different. You should be yourself. You should take care of yourself. Self care is important. 

Sensei said for those reasons, and those passions, I will be a great teacher one day.
  • Listening to: Musique pour la tristesse de Xion | Kingdom Hearts
  • Reading: Hotel on the Corner of Bitter and Sweet
  • Watching: Star Trek
  • Playing: Animal Crossing: New Leaf
  • Eating: Nothing
  • Drinking: Water

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Neverablueflame's Profile Picture
Neverablueflame
海ちゃん
Artist | Student | Varied
Japan
Name: Rui (some call me Umi or Naoto too)
Age: 25

I'm a 25 year old International Studies Major/Fashion Major with a Minor in Japanese and Korean. I'm a dork at heart, and a nerd by nature. I'm Pagan/Shinto/Buddhist.

Representative for the Alice Nine World Street Team !
Representative and founder of the vistlip North American Street Team !

"Now, I pull the trigger, and blast out all of your heads."
- Kowloon - NINE HEADS RODEO SHOW - ~ Alice Nine

"Do you have wounds ? Do you have scars ? You're still beautiful to me."
- One - Epik High
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:iconglimja:
Glimja Featured By Owner Jan 30, 2015  Professional General Artist
Thank you for the fav!!! X)    :forget-me-not: - NaNoEmo 06 
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:iconneverablueflame:
Neverablueflame Featured By Owner Feb 1, 2015  Student General Artist
You're welcome ! <3
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:iconrosherudesu:
rosherudesu Featured By Owner Dec 31, 2014  Student Digital Artist
Hi~ Thanks so much for the watch!! It means so much! 
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:iconneverablueflame:
Neverablueflame Featured By Owner Dec 31, 2014  Student General Artist
Of course ! ^-^
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:icontsuerisunongaku:
TsuerisunOngaku Featured By Owner Feb 15, 2014  Student Photographer
Thanks for the favvve, Rui-sama! :heart:
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:iconitachi349:
itachi349 Featured By Owner Jan 23, 2014
thanks for the :+fav:! <3
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:iconx-happilyinsane-x:
x-happilyinsane-x Featured By Owner Dec 5, 2013
Thanks for the fave :D
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:iconkhymichi:
Khymichi Featured By Owner Oct 6, 2013  Professional General Artist
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:iconhakui-kitsune:
Hakui-Kitsune Featured By Owner Oct 3, 2013
Thanks for the fave! :D
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:iconaifseiei:
aifseiei Featured By Owner Oct 2, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
thank you very much for the fave :3
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